Do I dare disturb the universe?

2009-12-14T19:31:00.001-08:00

For the third time, I called out to God and made a request, and immediately what I asked of Him happened--in the very next second. The resulting emotions are overwhelming beyond belief. I hope you've experienced the power of prayer.

2009-12-08T19:06:00.000-08:00

As I was trying to pick the focus for this blog (I had absolutely no idea what kind of blog it was going to be. I just wanted a blog.), I did a number of searches on google like: “I need a goal” and “How to pick a goal”, “What should I do?”. It made me wonder how many people also do that. I needed to realize that I can’t let someone pick it for me. I don’t mean that I couldn’t take inspiration from what someone else has done; after all, there is no such thing as a completely fresh idea... is there? But, being inspired by someone or something is different then taking someone else’s direction and pretending it’s mine.

That concept discovered, I had some difficult thinking to do. I’ve tried things like this before, and it was always after I saw what someone else was doing, and I wanted to “be like them” (and yes, that is how this blog originally began). I saw the success they had with it, how many people were reading them, and I wanted that. But I never finished what I started. Maybe that wasn’t just because it wasn’t my idea, but that definitely had something to do with it.

I suppose I should admit that even this is about to begun after I have, again, seen what someone else did. Julie Powell. That’s right, of Julie and Julia. I don’t know if that means I’m once again doomed to failure. It did make me realize, however, that like Julie, I never finish anything. I have no goals, no plans, no pursuits. I don’t do anything.

I know everybody wants to “leave their mark on the world”, and maybe that’s not even what I’m looking for. This is for me. Hopefully it will be something that will give me focus and... maybe something more. And, if it does come to mean anything at all to someone else, that will be the icing on the cake.

I don't yet know what will become of this. For now, I'm just praying that there will be a new entry tomorrow.

2009-11-23T17:10:00.000-08:00

You are beautiful.

2009-11-19T18:15:00.000-08:00

Go on.
Splash in the puddles.
You don't need to dance in the rain.
Just play in it.

2009-11-17T06:43:00.000-08:00

You lay, cold hands pushing
away cold dawn.
The only glow, of fireflies,
it doesn’t reflect.
You stare down to contemplate,
you fold your hands,
you bow your head and
doze off,
and your dreams are rosy;
filled with birds, sunshine,
horizons.
Raise the moon and you
wake, sprawled
across dew and curtained by
thickets. Midnight.
A few more hours to lie
on the silent pavement,
weave in an out of consciousness:
the first is black, the second is red.
A few more hours to
not be found. Keep on.
Fight the break of dawn.

2009-11-04T13:04:00.000-08:00

Once, Yesterday fled from the cold hearth,
into the arms of Dawn.
She took him in, and put him at peace;
from him she drew Day. He gives her children:
Dusk, Midnight, Tomorrow, for all of Time, her
ancient father.

Take your Time.

2009-11-03T20:29:00.000-08:00

True to love they say are
Romeo and Juliet,
Dido and Aeneas.
But show me the story of self-sacrifice,
not for one's own sake, but
for the other.
Don't tell me eloquent despair and
heroic death.
Teach me how to love not by
another's leave, and not
too well. But enough.
For tonight, the happy ending is not
as simple as on other days.
Tonight it is the world as we know it.

Miniature puddles

2009-10-31T11:08:00.000-07:00

Dreams lie in fragments,
like a shattered glass
that was never meant to be whole;
The graceful curves of a completed piece
exist in the imagination
alone.
And if you could only look close enough,
you would see your reflection.

The Laws of Gravity and Magnetism

2009-10-27T13:36:00.000-07:00

And then I saw you.
And I said.
Oh. That's where you've been.
I was trying to find you in only all the right places.

Don't find this.

2009-10-26T07:12:00.000-07:00

He induces perfection,
unseen, unfelt. Heard.
Master of dialogues, find him inside me.
The master of me finds himself master of dialogues.
Shivers, lying under rain and silver bars and slivers,
and canopies and glows.
He touches fireflies and keys,
lights and locks... unlocks.
Promise they won't be all you touch;
I cannot take back the key
dimming the light forever.
Promise.
Don't.
Or lie.

He silences shouts and raises whispers,
alienates conflicts, reconciles contradictions,
he negates excesses, banishes
insufficiency.

Silence my worries, raise my hopes.
You can alienate my arguments, please read between my lies,
negate my exaggerations, dismiss
my deficiencies.

['08]

Sunset, Autumn leaves and Blood

2009-10-24T14:34:00.001-07:00

Are we arrogant to think we can do anything that has never been done before?

Picnic bench.

2009-10-22T15:07:00.000-07:00

Be pretentious.

2009-10-22T14:51:00.000-07:00

Do not: write pretentious.
Do not: act pretentious.
Do not: look pretentious.
Do not: paint pretentious.
Do not: speak pretentious.
Do not: listen pretentious.
Do not: watch pretentious.
Do not: behave pretentious.

It's pretentious.

What I saw through the window.

2009-10-19T18:33:00.000-07:00

I wish that words weren't so powerful, and that I never came here. I wish you were the person who I could tell anything to but you're too damn perfect; I saw where you keep your thoughts.

She's living on my mind.

2009-10-19T18:27:00.000-07:00

Her in I
Drink her in
Blue water I drink blue sky
To drink—to win
Her in I
Coax her in
Pull up and fly
Drink her in
To win the sky – no sin
In her to coax come outside
But mine in her, drink
I in her

Symphony of thought

2009-10-19T18:24:00.000-07:00

Melody: 'what we remember and hum.'
If one forgets, did we hear a melody?
Did we hear, or did we listen?
Do we listen to remember, and hear to forget
melody?
Do we hear melody to remember... something
else, but listen that we may forget?
Repetition is the tool of the composer who
writes not after note into seemingly
eternity.
Do we repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat...
are we redundant to memorize,
or to abandon our thoughts,
our thoughts: the melody we either hear
or listen to?
''Meaningless,' says the Teacher, 'Everything is meaningless!''
Philosophizing on music of thought,
philosiphizing on philosophizing,
repetition on repetition. Are you listening?
It's either to learn
or forget.
Meaningless?
What is it?

[Sep. 28]

Though I'm Wicked

2009-10-19T18:16:00.000-07:00

Have you walked down that ally before?
Handing out coins,
thin gloves, old jackets, to sit amidst the litter.
Though I'm wicked:
Did you see the girl down the road?
The little girl next door you never noticed.
Did you see her die? Tell the mailbox and
the used section of the bookstore. Tell
the rose garden, but don't whisper.
Though I'm wicked:
When was the last time
you said those three words: I'm coming home.
When was the last time someone
had to say those words to you? When
Though I'm wicked:
How have the minutes been spent? Not the hours.
Is there someone to tell you?
I'm coming home.
Though I'm wicked:
Count the seconds since the last time
you went out of your way;
were you lost?
Explore the neighbor's home,
learn kitchen like the back of your hand,
and the room with scrubs and monitors,
that one too.
Though I'm wicked:
See those bars? They're a window.
They're a guidebook and a declaration of love,
but a whispered one.
Don’t whisper. Cry it out
Though I'm wicked:
Decorate that window with music,
soft and strident, brassy
and soothing.
Though I'm wicked:
Please.

[Sep. 24]